How does a 65 year old woman find a decent companion, possibly for marriage, should she advertise for one, if so, how and where? Well, I was a widow, dating, at age fifty plus. I tried ads—newspaper ads, this was in the late 90s—but they didn’t do me much good. The long string of coffee dates and dinners was OK, interesting even, but nothing really happened. I finally realised that, as I lived in a smallish town [100,000], I had already met everyone who liked to do any activity I liked doing. So I went and stayed in the home of a friend in a larger place, where I used to live. Got a job and settled a bit. I had a list of old friends and acquaintances to look up. Second hit, I struck gold. Fellow I had known well when we were all about twenty, and I was already married and pregnant with my first. We had had lunch together three time in in intervening thirty five years, but that was the extent of our contact. I knew he was married, and so had had hands off. So on the way to the car after this lunch date, he says “Oh, by the way, my wife and I are finally getting a divorce this time.” I go “What?” He says “Well, everybody knows how terrible my marriage has been—it’s just that we are really getting divorced now.” I say “Oh. Well you didn’t tell me. What stage are you in? Has anybody signed any papers yet?” He: “Oh, yes, we have both signed the first set.” Me: ”Well, would you like me to make you dinner?” So that was it. Married at 55, moved to Oregon where neither of us had ever lived, it’s all been going on for 23 years now. So here are my thoughts: Stay active, do stuff you like to do, and include stuff with number of men involved. You’re likely to meet more male companions on a birdwatching walk than you are in a knitting circle.
Expand your interests. Does your local community center have woodworking classes? How about singing groups? What about volunteering in some way? If you are so inclined, get on line and do interactive stuff. My grandson met the love of his life as part of a group playing interactive games on line. They started hanging out an extra few minutes after the game to talk, then that turned into talking all night, then that turned into visiting each other’s towns… Tell your friends you are looking for companionship, and ask them to invite you to group events that include men you might be interested in. Look up all your old friends and companions. No, you aren’t a predator. You are interested in seeing how they are doing, and saying hello. maybe becoming friends again. This will give you a lot of friends, which is a good thing in itself. But you never know when one of these might bloom… Go ahead and advertise, use a reputable service and sensible precautions. Find some way to signal who you really are. My stepson met the woman who became his wife through an on-line dating service. But they had each put in their ad “must love trees.” and that was the key to their noticing each other. The whole business can be awful at your age. That’s because it’s awful at any age. Just keep learning new things and doing what you really enjoy doing. That way, you’ll have a good time no matter what. You’ll have a smile on your face, and that’s the most attractive thing that anyone, of any age, can have. 5.9K viewsView upvotes View 2 shares
